Content warning: dead pet, grief.
For all my life, I’ve lived with pets, mainly dogs and cats. I’ve fed them, washed them, walked them, played with them, cuddled with them, loved them.
That love becomes painfully obvious when you lose them. Recently, we unexpectedly lost one of our two cats. One minute he was fine and playing. The next minute he wasn’t.
As we shared what happened, we’ve had two types of responses. Some people deeply understand our pain and grief, and some just don’t. My guess is that the latter never lived with pets or believe that anything non-human is lesser, maybe undeserving of our love. Whatever the reason, their expectation of how we feel and how we actually feel are light-years apart. To bridge that gap, let me shed some light on what our companions mean to us.
Our cats are family. We eat together, we wash together, we play together, we chill together, we sleep together. With me being a (mostly) remote worker, we work together, though I’m doing all of the work. The moment we set foot out of the house, we crave returning to our beloved family. I see and interact with our cats more than many do with their friends, their families, their spouses, perhaps even their children.
Consequently, my cat’s absence is very present. Every room, every surface, every corner is full of memories. Our cat had personality. He would jump in the shower before us, demanding cuddles. Now he can’t. He would barge in meowing when I rinsed after brushing my teeth. Now it’s just dead silence. His favourite spot, our go-to spot to unwind and share and receive love, is empty now.
Some mornings he’d wake us up early. To let my partner sleep in, I’d walk him into the back yard where he’d announce his presence to the neighbourhood with boisterous meows. We miss him, his personality, his quirks, even the things we thought we hated.
So, of course we can’t pretend everything is fine the next day. We’ve lost a loved one, one of my closest friends, a member of the family.
If you’ve never experienced a bond like that, please don’t dismiss our grief. The love is real, and so is our grief.